This week has proven to be a bit nerve-racking. I tried to secure a loan that would allow me to stay for the summer and continue on with my volunteerism but was denied. My iTunes library became damaged and I can’t seem to restore it. Two days later my iPhoto library crashed and 6,000 images vanished from my hard drive. The original images are on memory cards so they are not gone, gone, thankfully, but I’ve lost days of work. Add to all this delightfulness, an upset stomach with frequent runs to the toilet, and you pretty much understand where I’m at. It’s not been my week.
I have some major decisions to make as May progresses. My funds are limited and must be used wisely. Do I return home in June as originally planned? Do I pay the $100 it will cost to delay my flight and stay for MTV EXIT even if it’s only for one more month? Do I give up my apartment in the States or do I try to hold onto it? Do I leave Mae Sai and attempt to find paid work elsewhere in Thailand? Will I find work if/when I return to Zootown? Do I bite the bullet and sell my car?
Volunteering internationally is an amazingly rewarding experience. However, it doesn’t pay the bills. I am not independently wealthy nor do I have a trust fund, so eventually I have to find a job. What to do? What to do?
Two things currently pose the biggest challenge: my visa and my return flight. I do not possess a visa for a long term stay. Yet I don’t really have the funds to leave the country and get a longer term visa. My return flight can be changed but I have return by September 22 or lose it entirely. I can’t imagine leaving yet but it seems pretty challenging to stay.
I know one thing for sure: these last five months have been incredible and regardless of when I’m leaving or what unfolds in the coming weeks, I know I must relish every minute I have left here.
I know these problems are privileged problems to have. And they don’t really matter in the bigger picture. There are far more serious dilemmas in the world. This isn’t lost on me, I assure you.